You guys, I’m so excited to be featuring a post today by one of my favorite bloggers, Jess of The Momma Review. Her writing is warm and engaging with a dash of sarcasm and laugh-out-loud humor. I thought you all would get a kick out of this post by her. If you like it, be sure to check out her website and give her a like on Facebook.
We sold our condo in the downtown area of a small city and moved to a suburban bi-level last year. Our new home is bordered by a heavily wooded area and a small pond, which means we share the neighborhood with a shit-ton of animal residents. Previously, my day-to-day idea of becoming one with nature was walking along a concrete path beside a river where the occasional pigeon, duck, or squirrel roamed freely. City life is fun that way. Of course, I’ve been to zoos and on hikes, but I certainly wasn’t accustomed to seeing coyotes, turkeys, snakes, weasels, rabbits, and chipmunks regularly before moving here.
One evening this past fall, after the girls were all tucked in, I took a deep, cleansing breath, gave myself a quick pat on the back and got the dog ready to go outside. John was working second shift, and my routine with the kids was the same every evening: Dinner, bath, stories, brushing teeth, and then bed. The poor dog was crossing his legs by the time I put his leash on at seven. I rushed out the back door with him, flipping the switch on the wall as we ran, and that’s when I saw them: fifteen pairs of eyes glowing red in the backyard. They were staring intently at me and the beagle from a mere ten feet away. Since the motion sensor light hadn’t kicked on yet, it was impossible to tell what the creatures were exactly. All I could see in the darkness was the eerie reflection of their beady eyes.
I did what any reasonable city girl with limited exposure to nature would do. I panicked, immediately concluding that these mysterious animals with the beady eyes were there for terrifying reasons. They were obviously extras from Pet Sematary sent to my backyard by the devil himself. These creatures of the night were going to eat my entire family and nobody would ever find the bodies. We would be the subjects of an Unsolved Mysteries reboot. Naturally, the dog went ballistic, howling like he was hunting on the English countryside in the days of yore. He bounded down the back staircase, pulling us both several feet closer to imminent death as I struggled to regain control of his leash.
The motion sensor light in the yard flicked on as we fumbled onto the patio, and the creatures immediately scattered. As the flood light illuminated the backyard, I realized that I’m an idiot. There weren’t any demonic cats or bloodthirsty wolves waiting for us, but there were fifteen bunnies. Lots of tiny, fluffy, cute rabbits just hanging around, snacking on plants, and probably pooping little round pellets on the lawn. We haven’t seen them since, I suspect because they were probably terrified within an inch of their lives. But if we do again, I’m sure there will be seven-thousand instead of fifteen. Rabbits are busy like that.
You guys, I almost had a heart attack over some bunnies. Score one (or ten-million) for nature. Have you ever panicked about an animal or bug and felt completely ridiculous afterwards? Share in the comments. I hope my story made you feel a little better about your own close encounters with nature.